Some people bake for the holidays. Evolution makes hundreds of perfectly round, pointy-eared, ridiculous-nosed bats. Bring some to your family gathering this year!
Source: David Dennis / Flickr / licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
“Good lord, evolution, what is that?”
“It’s a flannel moth caterpillar I just finished. Funny little guy, huh?”
“It’s sort of… terrifying.”
“What? Nah. Look, it’s mostly hair. Pretty irritating, maybe, but there’s not much room for brains under there. It can’t actually do anything.”
“Okay, if you say so. But then where are you going to put it? Like, what is its ecological niche going to be?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Do I have to think of everything? I mean, I guess it could run for president of the United States.”
Source: Olly Boon / YouTube
Need a holiday gift for your nerdy best friend, precocious teenage offspring, or fundamentalist aunt?* Consider the WTF, Evolution?! book. Charles Darwin would have liked it, probably.
Here’s what some living people are saying:
“Mara Grunbaum’s book highlights the amazing, truly strange side of evolution. Nature’s a funny thing.” —The Verge
“In addition to being entertaining, the combined photos and commentary are extremely educational. They are also a constant reminder of what evolution is and how it really works.” —Huffington Post
"Although many of the species profiled here have downright disgusting quirks (such as baby toads that crawl through their mother’s skin), readers can’t help but be awed by them.” —Scientific American
Available at:
Amazon
Powell’s Books
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
and bookstores near you.*WTF, Evolution? cannot be held responsible for the reaction of your fundamentalist aunt.
Look, the book came out a while ago, which means no one will even be expecting it this year. Now’s your chance to surprise them!
WTF, Evolution?! A Theory of Unintelligible Design | Little City Books
New York/New Jersey! I’m doing a reading next week at Little City Books in Hoboken. You should come.
Tonight!
Happy Thanksgiving from evolution! Enjoy your roast ugly dinosaur.
Source: Flickr / ericbegin
WTF, Evolution?! A Theory of Unintelligible Design | Little City Books
New York/New Jersey! I’m doing a reading next week at Little City Books in Hoboken. You should come.
Chin up, sea toad. Evolution may have given you a grumpy face, a potato-sack body, and what looks like a permanent case of chin rash, but at least you got legs, right? How many fish get legs? Legs are probably good for something underwater, right? They probably are. I mean, they certainly don’t look useless dangling from your weird little abdomen like that while you swim. Not useless at all. You really are a lucky fish.
Video courtesy of NOAA Okeanos Explorer Program
“Oh, that’s a cute one, evolution! What is that?”
“It’s a hyrax! It pees in holes.”
“Huh.”
“Guess what it’s most closely related to.”
“I don’t know, what?”
“No, guess.”
“I mean… rodents, right? It’s a rodent?”
“Nope. Teeth are different.”
“Oh. Um, is it some kind of tiny fat dog?“
“What? No.”
“Oh! Is it like that weird miniature deer you did?”
“Ha, no. That was a good one, though.”
“Okay, fine. I give up. What is the hyrax most closely related to?”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Nothing in between?”
“Not really, no.”
“I just… how? Why?”
“Dunno. I like messing with you, mostly.”
Image Source: Bjørn Christian Tørrissen / Wikimedia Commons / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
“Hey, look! If I have this Taonius squid float around with its arms above its head, it kind of looks like a funny bird.”
“More like an uncannily murderous bird, evolution.”
“Potayto, potahto.”
“That’s a cute little bug, evolution!”
“Yes, thank you! It’s a beaded lacewing. I’m just finishing up the larval form’s feeding mechanism now.”
“Oh yeah? What do the larvae eat?”
“Termites.”
“Hm. Those can be hard to catch, can’t they? Don’t you want to give the lacewing some stronger legs or giant trap-jaws or something?”
“Nah, it’s fine. It’s going to paralyze the termites first.”
“Paralyze them? How will it do that?”
“With toxic gas.”
“Come on, where does it get toxic gas?”
“From its anus.”
“… I’m sorry, what?”
“It can release toxic gas from its anus.”
“Okay, but…”
“It sneaks up and farts on the termites’ heads until they pass out, and then it eats them. I don’t know what you’re not getting about this.”
“I just… I don’t… um…”
“It’s doing the termites a favor, really. That way they don’t have to feel it when the lacewing punctures their abdomen with its mouthparts and starts digesting them from the inside. Anyway, break for lunch?”
“No thanks, I think I’m good.”
Source: Flickr / cotinis / licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
Read more: Silent and Deadly: Fatal Farts Immobilize Prey by Gwen Pearson at WIRED
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