A female kangaroo is always pregnant. While one joey grows in her pouch, another one gestates in one of her two uteruses. As soon as the developed joey leaves the pouch, the next one is ready to come down the pipe—of which, by the way, she has three. Happy Mother’s Day.
“I’m getting tired of making insects that just hatch, eat, mate, and die.”
“Well, what else are they supposed to do? Seems like you’ve hit all the major requirements there, evolution.”
“I don’t know, something more interesting.”
“Like maybe hatch underground, putter around down there for 17 years, emerge in massive swarms that tear through the countryside and dive-bomb weddings and generally freak everyone the hell out for a while, and then eat, mate, and die.”
“Hm. ‘Interesting’ is one word for that.”
“I can see it now. The 17-year cicadas: Just when you thought you could forget.”
“That’s ridiculous. You watch too many movies.”
“BZZZ, motherf—ers! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.”
To trigger the nurturing instincts that compel their parents to feed them, newborn animals often appear sweet, helpless and overwhelmingly adorable. Evolution apparently wishes baby birds would starve.
Evolution likes worms that look like tiny disembodied floating butts, and it cannot lie.
(via Deep Sea Fauna… with Googly Eyes)
Seems like everyone could use a hug this week. Good thing evolution gave the blue-ringed octopus all those arms.
(Disclaimer: The blue-ringed octopus is venomous. Please do not actually attempt to hug one.)
You know that game where you draw the first part of something, fold the paper over, then hand it to someone else, who has to add the next part without seeing what you did? That’s basically how evolution made the marabou stork.
“Hey, evolution, remember when you tried making that fish with paired butt fins?”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Why not? I thought it was an awesome idea.”
“No, seriously. I think you should bring those back. Call them ‘feathery buttfish’ or something.”
“It’s been 370 million years, okay? Cut me a break.”
“I hate you.”