"Hey, I just realized something!"
"Well, I made these Amazonian frogs so they spawn, right?"
"So the females just lay their eggs out in the water, and the males fertilize them out in the water, and then everyone leaves the eggs alone and they grow."
"No parental care necessary."
"That’s the idea."
"So it doesn’t really matter what happens to the parents, so long as the eggs get fertilized."
"Technically. Where are you going with this? "
"Well, I gave the females this handy reflex to release their eggs when males squeeze them."
"But sometimes all the males trying to mate with them crush them to death."
"So it goes."
"But reflexes still work a bit after you’re dead, right?"
"So, like, as long as the eggs still come out of their bodies, and no one needs to be around to take care of those eggs, the males can just keep on mating with the dead females and still successfully reproduce!”
"Jesus, evolution. That’s pretty grim."
"I prefer ‘efficient.’"
"You’re messed up."
"Hey, remember the gastric brooding frog?"
"Which one was that again?"
"You know, the cute little one where I cleverly arranged for it to incubate its eggs inside its stomach and then regurgitate the hatchlings through its mouth."
"Ugh, right. What is it with you and frog hatching, evolution? Anyway, didn’t the baby-vomiting one go extinct?”
"Yeah, it did. But now the humans are trying to resurrect it!”
"Because everything deserves a second chance."
"Man, I knew I was keeping those big-brained weirdos around for something."
Source: National Geographic
Good evolutionary defense mechanisms: Running very fast. Hiding really well. Being full of poison. Having wicked spikes.
Questionable evolutionary defense mechanisms: … whatever this is.
From an evolutionary standpoint, reproducing is the single most important thing you can do in your time on this planet. In fact, it’s the only thing that really matters at all. In light of that, evolution has taken pains to ensure that reproduction is always as pleasant, easy and undisturbing a process as possible.
Ha! Just kidding, of course. It’s usually totally horrifying.