“Check out this awesome dance move I invented.”
“Oh god, evolution, please stop doing that.”
“What? It’s called ‘pronking.’ All the springbok are into it.”
“I can’t take you anywhere.”
Source: BBC
A female kangaroo is always pregnant. While one joey grows in her pouch, another one gestates in one of her two uteruses. As soon as the developed joey leaves the pouch, the next one is ready to come down the pipe—of which, by the way, she has three. Happy Mother’s Day.
Source: Flickr / thedepartment
Dear Evolution: Letters of Gripe and Gratitude
In which WTF, Evolution? collaborates with the esteemed nerds over at Scientific American. Featuring clumsy penguins, gangly giraffes, and the sexiest birds on Earth. Check it out, weirdos.
“Tee hee.”
“What now, evolution?”
“It’s a ‘tapir.’ Get it?”
“No.”
“‘Tapir!’ C’mon.”
“No.”
“It’s a tapir! It has a tapired nose!”
“You’re the worst.”
Source: Flickr / guppiecat
“You know that elephant seal I made? The one with the awesome floppy nose?”
“Yes, evolution, that was a pretty good nose.”
“And you know how it kept getting parasites up inside it?”
“I heard that was an issue.”
“I fixed it.”
“You fixed it? What did you do, give the elephant seal more protective mucus? A better immune system? Stronger nose hairs?”
“Nope! That all seemed too hard. I just made a nose-picking bird.”
“A nose-picking bird.”
“Works great!”
Source: telegraph.co.uk
“Damn it! I ran out of noses. Maybe I shouldn’t have put so many on the fish.”
“It’s okay, evolution, there’s another shipment coming in next week. Just wait until then.”
“But I’m already behind deadline on these monkeys! Natural selection’s really been riding my ass lately; if I hold these up any longer, I’m toast.”
“You can’t send them out without noses, dude. It’s grotesque.”
“I don’t think I have a choice. I really need this job.”
Source: discoverwildlife.com
Evolution accidentally dropped this leaf-nosed bat on the floor but was too embarrassed to say anything so just pretended it was actually supposed to look like that.
Source: National Geographic
Jesus Christ, evolution, put that thing away. Even the other baboon macaque looks horrified.
*Thanks for the correction, internet!
Source: flickr.com
Stop it, evolution, you’re embarrassing yourself. This proboscis monkey is clearly not appropriate.
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