“Tee hee.”
“What now, evolution?”
“It’s a ‘tapir.’ Get it?”
“No.”
“‘Tapir!’ C’mon.”
“No.”
“It’s a tapir! It has a tapired nose!”
“You’re the worst.”
Source: Flickr / guppiecat
Don’t even ask about the goblin shark, okay? Evolution was in a pretty weird place during the Cretaceous Period and would rather not be reminded.
Source: dsc.discovery.com
The Pinocchio frog has strong hind legs for leaping, sticky feet for clinging to treetops, bulbous eyes for seeing all around, and a pointy, inflatable nose for… um… okay, fine, evolution has no idea what the pointy, inflatable nose is for.
Source: National Geographic
“You know that elephant seal I made? The one with the awesome floppy nose?”
“Yes, evolution, that was a pretty good nose.”
“And you know how it kept getting parasites up inside it?”
“I heard that was an issue.”
“I fixed it.”
“You fixed it? What did you do, give the elephant seal more protective mucus? A better immune system? Stronger nose hairs?”
“Nope! That all seemed too hard. I just made a nose-picking bird.”
“A nose-picking bird.”
“Works great!”
Source: telegraph.co.uk
Come on, evolution, you cannot be serious with this sh—
Oh, wait. OH. Ha! I get it. Clearly the red-lipped batfish is a work of satire, not meant to be taken as a literal “animal,” which would of course be ridiculous. Sorry, I can be a bit slow sometimes. Nice one.
Source: scuba.com
“Damn it! I ran out of noses. Maybe I shouldn’t have put so many on the fish.”
“It’s okay, evolution, there’s another shipment coming in next week. Just wait until then.”
“But I’m already behind deadline on these monkeys! Natural selection’s really been riding my ass lately; if I hold these up any longer, I’m toast.”
“You can’t send them out without noses, dude. It’s grotesque.”
“I don’t think I have a choice. I really need this job.”
Source: discoverwildlife.com
Evolution accidentally dropped this leaf-nosed bat on the floor but was too embarrassed to say anything so just pretended it was actually supposed to look like that.
Source: National Geographic
“Blobfish? So, I’m just making it look like a blob?”
“Yeah, basically.”
“Can I do a nose? I love doing noses.”
“Sure, evolution, whatever.”
Stop it, evolution, you’re embarrassing yourself. This proboscis monkey is clearly not appropriate.
Sometimes evolution gets confused and puts things that look like creepy baby fingers where your face is supposed to be. Tough break, star-nosed mole.
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