"You know that elephant seal I made? The one with the awesome floppy nose?"
"Yes, evolution, that was a pretty good nose."
"And you know how it kept getting parasites up inside it?"
"I heard that was an issue."
"I fixed it."
"You fixed it? What did you do, give the elephant seal more protective mucus? A better immune system? Stronger nose hairs?"
"Nope! That all seemed too hard. I just made a nose-picking bird."
"A nose-picking bird."
Come on, evolution, you cannot be serious with this sh—
Oh, wait. OH. Ha! I get it. Clearly the red-lipped batfish is a work of satire, not meant to be taken as a literal “animal,” which would of course be ridiculous. Sorry, I can be a bit slow sometimes. Nice one.
"Damn it! I ran out of noses. Maybe I shouldn’t have put so many on the fish.”
"It’s okay, evolution, there’s another shipment coming in next week. Just wait until then."
"But I’m already behind deadline on these monkeys! Natural selection’s really been riding my ass lately; if I hold these up any longer, I’m toast."
"You can’t send them out without noses, dude. It’s grotesque."
"I don’t think I have a choice. I really need this job."