"Look at this psychedelic frogfish I made! Isn’t it rad?”
“Wow, that’s a pretty cool pattern. Wait, what is it doing?”
“Don’t you think it’s pretty?”
“Yeah, but why can’t it swim right?”
“What do you mean?”
“Its tail isn’t straight and it’s hurling itself against rocks, evolution.”
“Oh. Right. That.”
“Well, I spent so long doing the pretty lines, I sort of… ran out of time to work on locomotion.”
“Ran out of time? You had literally millions of years.”
“There are a lot of lines, okay?”
Source: National Geographic
"What now, evolution?"
"Well, I had such good luck with the handfish—what if I made a handlobster?”
"Handlobster? That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”
"Come on! It just takes a few little mutations. Look, I’ll do one now.”
"I think I like it."
Image credit: Richard Figueiredo, F/V Leah; courtesy Maine State Aquarium
One night evolution had a vision of a world where things were perfect. Life coexisted peacefully with other life; nobody fought or died or ate each other’s entrails. There were no monsters in the ocean, only leafy sea dragons, fluttering calmly back and forth to keep everyone safe. It was a world of serenity, a world of quiet splendor, where everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.
Source: Flickr / wolf-t
Hey, evolution. It’s really cool that you made starfish so they can regenerate their arms if they lose them. That was a pretty smart move. And it’s especially awesome that you worked it out so that the detached limb can regrow a whole new animal. Excellent thinking there, really. It’s just that while it’s doing it, uh… it looks a little… gosh, how do I put this delicately?
Source: Flickr / boogieswithfish